Through Another's Eyes
by Zombie Kitty
Summary: Set in series 2, body swapping and weird enemies involved oh and lots yummy angst in between the comedy. Rated T for flexability. COMPLETED... I think
1. Messed Up Identities

**Disclaimer:** I don't own RD - ALRIGHT?

Well I said in a review of Lar's never ending story that I had something random in mind and here is the first chapter, it got longer, only by a few chapters though, anyway however none random and serious it may seem for this and the 3 chapters, be warned...

**Through Another's Eyes**

Lister woke up and groaned, he felt like he'd just drunk an entire Guinness lorry – plus petrol. He blinked as he found himself looking at the floor of his quarters – He'd recognise that curry stain anywhere

He coughed as he turned over onto his side, finding himself face to face with… himself.

"What the SMEG?" Lister coughed raising his head, passing straight through the table. It took a few moments for this to register but once it had the scream was enough to wake the dead.

"What you yelling about Alphabet head? Some of us are trying to SLEEP!" Came Cat's annoyed voice – But from Lister's body.

"I didn't say anything you deranged moggie." Rimmer protested – From Cat's body.

The 3 confused souls stared at each other in shock before piercing the stale air with screams.

"Get outta my body Captain Emerald!" Cat hissed jumping on Rimmer in anger.

"What about me?" Wailed Lister in anguish. "I'm a hologram! – No worse still – I'm a hologram of Rimmer!"

Cat let go of Rimmer, worried he would damage his clothes, and moved sulkily to the chair at the other end of the room

"Do you think I want you in my body? Rimmer said as he tried to calm himself Hang on I bet that jumped up game boy has something to do with this – HOLLY HOLLY!" Rimmer cried Leaping up and hitting his head on the corner of the bunk beds.

"Mind the hair Goalpost Head!" Cat cried despondently.

"Oh come on! I though you would have loved this? No you can see yourself in the 3rd person!" Rimmer scoffed tapping his foot impatiently at Holly's lack of appearance.

"With YOU in there? Ugh you're SICK!"

"What about you ey Rimmer? Now you can brush a smegging rose against your cheek and all that other crap you spurted." Lister spat running a hand through the table and flexing his fingers, the feeling strange and unwelcome."

"Shut up you gimboid." Rimmer retorted. "HOLLY!" He cried again before grimacing as his own voice rung in his ears.

"Unused to my superior senses jack ass?" Cat muttered in response.

"Where is Holly? I'm getting worried." Lister asked as he ran his hand along the ground, being able to touch it but unable to feel it's texture.

"And the fact that our minds and bodies have got scrambled DIDN'T worry you in the slightest?" Rimmer scoffed.

"You know what I mean." Lister replied. "We better get to the Drive Rom and find out what the SMEG is going on."

"Not until I get this body into some coordinated evening wear – And a shower." Cat retorted.

"No smegging way, anyway that's one of my best shirts! It's the one with only the 3 curry and 2 larger stains down the front." Lister protested, reaching out to grab his bodies arm to pull Cat along before realising he couldn't, his hand hanging there in mid air.

"Come on." He muttered passing Cat and Rimmer and out into the corridor, the others following...

* * *

He laughed to himself as he watched the pathetic 3 wake up and discover their predicament – Torturing and confusing people was fun – And he wasn't going to stop now… 


	2. Lister

No more disclaimers in this fic! Mostly because I can't be bothered! (I don't own RD!)

Well this 1st person set up wasn't originally going to be here but I decided it would be good angstyness, obviously I'm now going to do one for Cat and Lister, then I'll get onto the plot. Watching QI now so i'll write the next chapter in a bit. (Aren't I nice posting them now so you can all read more when you wake up tomorrow? So lucky I am undead and don't understand the meaning of sleep!)

Lister

Lister stormed down the corridor, he could hear the footsteps of Cat and Rimmer, as he himself stepped noiselessly along the metal floor. He wanted his body back and he wanted it back NOW! He hated the way he couldn't touch or hold objects while he could still stand on the floor and lay on a bed, he still couldn't feel anything and he hated the simulation even more because of that.

Worse still he was in Rimmer's body, well if it could be called a body, an existence made of light. Lister almost felt sorry for his "superior"...almost.

Well...that was a lie, of course he felt sorry for him - He was dead… It had happened to a deserving guy but still, it wasn't nice.

On the other hand he wasn't DEAD, dead, because he was still here, though he couldn't rest in peace as it were – And neither could they what with his smegging organ music.

Lister rubbed the "H" on his forehead and grimaced, he better get his body back soon.

"Oh smeg." He muttered under his breath as the realisation came to him that he couldn't eat or drink anymore! He had to get his body back, a life time without curries? No smegging way!

He looked back at his own body, that was been occupied by Cat's mind, it was weird, he couldn't explain the feeling, it was like looking in a mirror only you weren't responsible for what your reflection did… And there was the fact that Lister looked like a reject from a Gerry Anderson puppet show.

He looked round in shock to see a solid wall and closed his eyes, of course impact never came as he fell straight through into a storage cupboard. He felt sick, which was ironic in itself.

"Nice one Lister, do remember to notice walls when we reach corners it helps prevent been sucked into space." Came Rimmer's sarcastic voice.

Lister growled, sympathy forgotten as he stepped back through into the corridor. He blinked at the light and looked round, Cat was busy trying to clean the dirt from his fingernails with a nail file he had got from Rimmer's/his pocket. Rimmer meanwhile was busy looking at him in contempt, which kind of made Lister smile. Rimmer and The Cat would never realise how similar they were, though normally Cat's face only held that expression at Rimmer. Again ironic that Rimmer was using Cat's facial muscles.

Lister looked at his bunkmate in his friend's body and noticed a look of… worry? In his eyes. Lister shook his head at the absurdity of the notion and decided to stop thinking as it did his head in.

"Come on." He muttered as he once again led the way to the Drive Room to find out what the hell was going on.


	3. Rimmer

Ta for the reviews Alex! You're fab and so are your stories (And Gerald of course) Well here's the next chapter (obviously) Might post another one or even two tonight, it depends...

Rimmer

Rimmer wandered down the corridor, his hand flitting along the wall, he couldn't believe he was able to touch and feel again, whatever the body he was in. If the situation hadn't been so totally weird he would have gone to find the puncture repair kit!

He looked at his own hologram, his "body" he was surprised how… human Lister made it look and thought it ironic that Lister looked better in his body than he did.

He looked down at his hands, that weren't his, the darkness shocking him; he ran a hand through his borrowed hair and wondered why he had never been able to style his hair perfectly when he was alive – or dead for that matter. No wonder he always kept his hair so short, it was always so unmanageable.

He didn't know if he would like inhabiting Cat's body, he thought of all the things he could do and be in it, yet he was frightened to even touch his chest. It was like an invasion of someone else, someone even more… introvert than himself, however Cat appeared.

"With his borrowed extra senses he heard Lister mutter "Oh smeg" under his breath and Rimmer wondered what he was thinking – He wondered what Cat was thinking, all he knew was that he was thinking complete smeg – Just like when he spoke really.

He turned in shock as he felt Cat grab him. Rimmer glared then lost eye contact as he saw Cat stare in anger at him as he searched the pockets before retrieving a hand mirror and a nail file. He watched as Cat looked round but on finding no un-holey pockets in Lister's clothes, returned the mirror in defeat and busied himself with tackling the layers of dirt that was lining Lister's fingers.

Lister's yell of surprise however took his attention as he saw Lister pass straight through the wall. He opened his mouth to yell in concern but on seeing a door marked "Janitor" decided he didn't want to show he cared for Lister's safety – Even if he was in his "body".

"Nice one Lister, do remember to notice walls when we reach corners it helps prevent been sucked into space." He heard himself saying as Lister growled and reappeared next to them. He watched as Lister looked round as he had so many times when he had become a hologram, he had always felt sick too, it was so odd… Being a hologram and being made of light, yet been able to think and feel emotionally as if he was a real person still.

Rimmer noticed Lister looking at him strangely and he looked away. Dragging his feet after as Lister started to move again, muttering for him and Cat to come on…


	4. Cat

Happy Lar? I posted! Now read and go bed or whatever (You used all your artistic talent tonight writing 12 lines so don't worry - I ain't expecting a review from ya!)

Anyway heres the chapter from Cat's point of view, harder than I thought, hope I did him jusice and enjoy! (Chapter 5 will either arrive tomorrow or at 4:20amish after the Bollywood film has finished - I love Bollywoods almost as much as horror movies and RD)

Cat

He couldn't believe it, he was finally face to face with himself as it were and the king of the smegheads was in his body – It wasn't fair! He didn't want Rimmer there as all.

Even worse – He was in Lister's body! He could smell the sweat and curryness – Even without his feline senses.

Cat sighed and rubbed his forehead, feeling the unfamiliar lines and contorts of Lister's face, the feelings too weird to describe. He was a stranger in his friend's body while Rimmer was an unwanted intruder in his.

He looked at Lister's hands in front of him and felt close to tears – And what if they found a woman? He couldn't meet her like this!

And the dirt! Lister's hands looked blacker than his. He wished they had let him go take a shower or something at least because this was just cruel! He picked at Lister's nails, remembering the beauty aids in HIS clothes.

Cat attacked Rimmer, delving into his own pockets, looking for his precious items. He hated Rimmer, but he hated him more for stealing his body.

He retrieved his trusty mirror and nail file but on seeing Lister's reflection instead of his own, sought for a pocket to hide the treasured item. To his disgust the monkey had none so stuffed the mirror back in the pocket of his own stylish jacket – careful to check he didn't tear the lining of course though.

Cat then began to clear the dirt from Lister's nails picking at the wedges of dirt, not caring if his hurt himself in the process. He felt the sharp point dig into his skin, though the skin didn't belong to him, he felt the pain, though he shouldn't be feeling that pain. He had been a human for all of 10 minutes and he hated it – He was a feline and this was just… not right.

He looked up to see Lister in Rimmer's hologramatic form fall through a wall, before emerging in a dazed state a few seconds later. He tried to care but when Lister normally looked like a homeless guy who had stolen clothes from a Hawaiian tourist – Which meant he now did, he was struggling to care as he continued to jab at the diminished dirt.

Cat sighed dejectedly as Chipmunk Cheeks and Goal Post Head began to continue on their way to the Drive Room.

Those names are messed up for a start. Cat thought in a more confused state of mind than normal. Everything was messed up now, and as he followed one of the most important things he had ever thought came into his mind:

"Why?"


	5. Switch

Well it's 4:55am and the next chapter is up! (The bollywood film was good by the way and I'm kind of surprised, I watched a film esturday - Pinjar right and it had this guy called Sanjay Suri in, he was in tonights... this mornings film as well! (Jhankaar Beats) And there's this other film that he and like half the cast of Jhankaar Beats are in! Sorry it's just interesting to get to know the famous Actors and Actresses of Bollywood... I babble at this time in the morning...) I think i'm going to attempt sleep now so byesey! and #Insert Witty Saying Here.# Oh yeah and read on! (Current time 5am)

Switch

The gang burst into the Drive Room and looked around expecting to find a load of aliens controlling the ship and altering them. Well that's what Rimmer was hoping for… Kinda. But nothing was there, Holly was still online but no trace of his bald, gormless face could be found.

"Holly, show your self this instant and tell us what the smeg is going on!" Rimmer yelled to the blank monitor. A pause elapsed that seemed hours but was only a few seconds, then the elusive computer appeared.

"Wot?"

"Holly, read my… his lips – What Is Going On?"

"You mean apart from the fact you're all pretending to be everyone else? You know April isn't for another 3 months?" He asked in his usual deadpan voice.

"Shut up you gimboid we aren't faking – And why didn't you answer when we yelled you earlier?" Rimmer accused shaking Cat's finger at Holly's screen, as if scolding a five year old child.

"No you didn't"

"What? Yes we did!"

"You need your microphones cleaning bud."

"Look I may have been alone for nearly 3 million years but I think I still know when my name is been called or not." He protested rolling his eyes dramatically.

"Holly. What was been happening in the past hour or so? Anything strange?" Lister asked slowly and clearly, ignoring Rimmer's snort at the words 'anything strange'

"Well no you come to mention it there was a weird power surge not long ago, but I put it down to either Lister playing his guitar, The Cat plugging in all his electrical products or Rimmer's ego." At this Cat and Lister smiled slightly as Rimmer contorted Cat's features with a look of the up most anger, though he couldn't quite achieve the same effect without his instant flaring nostrils.

"And you didn't think to do anything about this at the time because…?" Rimmer spluttered.

"I was busy!"

"Doing what?"

"I was teaching the skutters to play the themes to some of their favourite John Wayne films by banging their heads on various pots and pans in the kitchens." Holly replied as if he's just said a completely normal thing.

"Great Hol, just great but do you think you could do a little sweep for unidentified life forms and maybe HELP us here?" Lister asked trying not to snap too much – It would take the fun away from snapping whoever or whatever did this – When he got his body back.

"Ok, ok – God you're all tetchy today."

"I wonder why!" Rimmer scoffed melodramatically.

"Hey there is something there… No I was wrong, must have been some dust on the scanner or something." Holly amended.

"Great. JUST great!"

"Oh like you even want your body back Rimmer, why don't you just smeg off to find Rachael?" Lister cried in annoyance – he was not having a good day – and it wasn't even Thursday!

"Not in my body he aint!" Cat retorted angrily. The 3 glared at each other dangerously, before all falling back in pain.

"God what is that?" Cat yelled covering his ears from the sound though no one was able to answer as they all fell to the ground, unconscious.

"So what's this? Name that death scene?" Holly asked earnestly. After a moment he realised something really bad WAS happening but what could he do?

He decided to call one of the scutters and got Bob's attention. However just as he was about to explain the problem to Bob in binary code, a warm sensation – almost a feeling washed over him and all he said was "Go back to the kitchens for act 2."

* * *

The monster lay in his hiding place contently. He had been there months, and no-one had noticed him, every time someone broached the subject he would erase their thought – not that there were really many to erase anyway. 

Soon his plan was to be complete and he would feast on his broken and insane prey – Just the way he liked them.

He was like a chef preparing the main course, he didn't want to rush things, and he hadn't rushed things. He had started small, getting Lister to forget where he had left the keys to his space bike for instance. He had nearly cracked himself – he was starving all the months and years he had waited for a decent meal and there it was, just in front of him teasing him in everyway imaginable. He had managed though, he had even tried some of the human's food – The stuff they called curry… It hadn't gone down well though. – Thank god the hologram had put the whole roll of bog roll down to aliens!

Anyway they were near breaking point they were trying to stay calm but they would soon be nicely done. The monster cackled evilly to the empty room and transmitted the brain scrambling messages in a high pitched wail to the Drive Room occupants – blocking out the signal from the harmless, senile, but highly irritating computer – Let's see how they'd cope with another switch…


	6. Awakened Confusion

Well here ya go, another chapter - only a couple or so to go now - Enjoy! (Cheers for the reviews ppl - Keep it up)

Awakened Confusion

Cat opened his eyes and looked round, his question still running through his mind. He saw his body still laid out on the ground along side Lister's… LISTER'S?

He looked down in shock at his hands and felt the "H" on his forehead.

"You've gotta be KIDDING!" He yelled causing the others to wake up.

"What's happened now? Lister asked groggily as he opened his eyes and came face to face with Rimmer's body.

"We must have swapped again." Rimmer reasoned as he sat up and tried to analyse the situation.

"Oh ya THINK?" Lister snapped as he looked down at his manicured claws.

"Hey the last body had no pockets, this isn't even a BODY here!" Cat moaned.

"What do we do now?" Lister asked confused as to what the smeg was happening.

"Well I don't know about you two, but I think…" Rimmer began but was cut off by Lister.

"No smegging way – we're sticking together. Anyway you really think I'm going to let you out of my sight in my body?" Lister snapped, thankful that he was at least a solid entity again… not that he would have ever referred to a body that technically.

"What about me?" Cat asked, now not even able to change his clothes if he wanted to.

"What about you?" Rimmer hissed glad he could direct his anger for the feline and himself in the same place.

Cat waited for himself to spurt an insult but none came as he stood their staring at Rimmer in Lister's body and Lister in his. Cat stormed out leaving the other two men in the Drive Room to ponder these strange occurrences.

* * *

The monster laughed, the pathetic feline was progressing nicely, but the hologram was not too upset by his physical form and the human was always to be the toughest of the group but that would soon change…

* * *

"Nice plan on us sticking together ey Listy?" Rimmer scoffed as he went to the nearest vending machine and ordered 5 Crunchy bars and a bowl of ice cream. 

"What on SMEG do you think you're doing?" Lister asked storming over.

"Errr comfort food." Rimmer replied.

"Not in my smegging body." Lister protested.

The two glared at each other tension mounting till a scream broke their concentration

"CAT!" The two man yelled running off down the corridor, the crunchy bars and melting ice cream abandoned.

The men rounded the corner in the direction of Cat's scream but could find no trace of him. They turned round looking desperately.

"I knew we should have stopped him." Lister said worriedly, turning and grimacing as he felt his foot step on something.

"My light bee…" Rimmer muttered as Lister picked up the broken item.

"Did I?..." Lister asked as he examined the light bee.

"I don't think so… You know what this means?" Rimmer asked.

"That Cat's been killed by some kind of weird mind swapping demon?"

"Yes but it means I can never be a hologram again – We wiped my spare disk remember. I am dead." Rimmer said in shock.

"Oh shut up HE'S dead, you're still here – In MY body." Lister hissed as he threw the light bee away in disgust as to what had happened.

"So how's it feel to walk in a dead man's body?" Rimmer asked. Lister searched his voice and face for sarcasm but found none.

"Like you did everyday."

"I'm just going to…go…" Rimmer trailed off as he set off away.

"Rimmer – You can't…" Lister began but it was too late. "SMEG!" he cried kicking a box.

* * *

Rimmer wandered to the Observation Tower. He always seemed to go here when he had problems. It let him think and reflect. He held his… Lister's head in his hands and cried. He cried a lot but tried never to do it in public. 

The feeling and taste of the salty tears as they fell from his eyes and rolled down his face and onto his lips made Rimmer feel even more guilty.

He was alive but for how long? Would they all be killed by this thing? Or would he have to live for the rest of his now natural life in Lister's body, seeing Lister in Cat's everyday? Or even worse – If there was another body swap he would end up in Cat's.

Rimmer shuddered he didn't even like the self absorbed feline yet here he was morning his death… or his body's death… Or something.

Rimmer knew he didn't want to die at the hands of whatever had got Cat, but he knew he was too afraid of death to commit suicide – Especially know he was no longer made of light – Even if he was in the body of someone with less personal hygiene than a laboratory mouse.

Rimmer wondered what was happening to his mind, but decided he wasn't too worried, he had never been the most sane person in the world. Rimmer's opinion of his mind was however to change as he watched space change – The planets began to move faster and faster and he began to see people from his past as well as the Red Dwarf crew and Cat.

Rimmer panicked – was he going mad or was he been welcomed by the dead?... Or is that the same thing really? Rimmer ran, reacting the only way he knew how – Hiding under a table in the cargo bay rocking back and forth…


	7. Arachnophobia

Look another chapter! Wow! well just so you know there SHOULD be just 2 or 3 chapters left after this, it depends on my imagination, Anyway, read on and review...

Arachnophobia 

Lister sighed and sat down on the box he'd kicked. He couldn't believe it – Cat was dead and he had no idea what was going on, Rimmer had run off smeg knows where, he was trapped in his dead friend's body and Holly had smegged off somewhere – probably gone back to the skutter's edition of Cook That Tune.

Lister took a deep breath and tried to understand what was going on. They had switched bodies that was for certain, and Holly didn't seem to care… What if he couldn't? Maybe he was being controlled, Even Holly wouldn't act that off hand on purpose… Would he? Lister bit his lip and continued to try and assess their situation. Holly had mentioned something about a power surge in their quarters – Before the whole thing had happened… He'd changed his mind but maybe he was been controlled? Lister decided to go back to his quarters and see if he could find anything there.

He stood up and set off at a running pace. He had been running for a few minutes when he turned a corner and found himself face to face with a giant spider. Lister froze with fear – Was this somehow the cause of what had been going on? Lister closed his eyes and whimpered as he felt the huge beast brush against his skin. He could feel the sweat on his forehead and his figure shaking with fear, but still he kept his eyes closed.

Then it was gone he could no longer feel the legs touching his skin or the bristly hair rubbing against the sequined clothes. Lister tentatively opened one eye, then another. He spun round – But there was nothing there. He sighed and collapsed in a shocked heap to the floor.

The real monster laughed heartily – It was a delicate process breaking each one down and confusing them and scaring them to the point of insanity but it was worth it – Even the human was loosing his resistance – In other words – He was eating good tonight!

Lister forced himself to sit up. The spider was NOT there he told himself firmly it was an illusion – But how – Why? Lister didn't know what was real and what wasn't but he had to get to his quarters – surly there would be some clues there?

The monster sighed – Looked like he still had some torturing left to do on the human – Fine by him but he was hungry NOW! Oh well, he might as well let them come to him he decided, sending an unconscious message for them to come to Lister's quarters. – After all he had to explain what had been going on just before dinner – It would be impolite and totally un-evil otherwise!


	8. Monster Revealed

Right well here's chapter 8! And yes you do find out who the monster is in this chapter - Eventually, so read on now to find out sooner!

Monster Revealed

Lister tiptoed into his quarters and blinked in hock – There on the bunk was Rimmer's body – Cat!

He heard a noise behind him and Rimmer in his body appeared next to him.

"Cat?" The two men echoed.

"What you two looking at?" Cat sighed, looking up as the others stared at him gormlessly.

"But you're… dead." Rimmer said in shock his feet rooted to the ground.

"Hang on, this could be an illusion… Or maybe his death was the illusion." Lister said shaking his head confused

"You're the monster!" Rimmer cried hiding behind Lister.

"Of course I'm a monster you FREAK – I look like YOU!" Cat yelled passing his hand through a wall tearfully.

"Sounds like him… Where you been?"

"Here."

"What if he's lying?" Rimmer asked shuddering at the thought he had when Lister had stood on the crushed light bee.

"What if YOU are?" Cat asked grumpily.

"He's right – Any of us could be whatever's doing this."

"How do we know it isn't you LISTER?" Rimmer accused turning to the body occupied by the last known human alive.

"Oh please…" Lister scoffed trailing off.

"How do we know what anything is anymore?" Cat asked as he stared at the ceiling.

"How do you mean?"

"What if none of this is real… I don't know anymore…" Cat said turning away.

"Since when were you philosophical?" Rimmer scoffed half heartedly.

"Shut up man – He's right – We both know he is." Lister replied leaning against the wall.

"I am? Now we know this ain't reality…"

The three men closed their eyes and tried to clear their clouded minds, none of them noticing the monster as he licked his lips noisily.

"Hello dinner." The thing cackled evilly. The Dwarfer's eyes flew open and looked round in shock, their eyes all eventually settling on their enemy that was in the middle of the room, it's eye's glinting hungrily.

"Do you see that?" Cat whispered to the others who nodded their heads.

"Oh great… we are insane."

"Definitely – Why else would we see the monster as a Giant Plastic Banana?"


	9. Explanations & Explosions

Well here's the final chapter... I think it's the final chapter anyway!... Whatever - Just read ok?

Explanations & Explosions

"How are you all feeling? Wait, let me guess – Confused and Insane?" The banana asked evilly.

"Just a tad." Rimmer speculated.

"Hang on – Are you REALLY a banana?"

"Well I have been for the past few hundred years – my morphing mechanism got jammed ya know, Anyway enough of the chit chat, I need to tell you what's going on then suck your souls out!"

"Lovely."

"I know! Utterly delightful."

"I have just one teeny tiny question? If you have been making us insane, why are you about to reveal your master plan to us like a James Bond villain?"

"Because then I can watch you go mad all over again as you watch me kill each of you one by one – You cannot move with me controlling part of your minds."

"Think you're clever do you? You… Banana you!" Rimmer scoffed though he was really terrified.

"Yes actually! Now to business – I am a morphing GELF, I am an evolved strain of the original "Polymorph" Species, I however do not suck emotions – I bring people to the point of insanity then take their souls. I have mind altering capabilities and am more powerful then you could ever imagine. Any questions?"

"Yeah – What's a Polymorph?" Lister asked.

"And a GELF?" Rimmer piped up.

"And more importantly why are you a Giant Banana?" Cat added.

"Oh my colony had been playing name that fruit."

"Well that makes sense!" Rimmer muttered.

"Enough!" The banana commanded as a high shriek filled the room, causing the Dwarfer's to collapse to the floor in agony as terrifying images came to their minds, torturing their souls.

"Hey Bob – Go get your toy gun – We could get that elusive note by shooting the ball bearings." Holly suggested as Madge hit her head against a frying pan, causing an ugly twang to sound round the room.

Bob squeaked in response and set off. He got to his locker and retrieved his gun, but was distracted by a noise coming from Lister's quarters. The curious skutter wheeled over to the doorway to find The remains of the crew, collapsed on the floor in spasms, A giant banana stood over them. Bob cocked his mechanical head on one side and fired his gun several times, the ball bearings puncturing the material of the banana.

"You have GOT to be kidding me!" The GELF cried as he exploded into a pile of yellow plastic and weird gunk.

Feeling satisfied with his good deed of the day Bob rolled off back to the kitchen.

* * *

"God my heads banging!2 Lister said as he sat up and looked round at his two crew mates. 

"Yeah – I had a really weird dream – That we'd swapped bodies!" Rimmer as he rubbed the "H" on his head.

"So did I – that's the last time we watch those crappy "Invasion Of The Body Snatchers" films when drunk.

"Agreed."

"Gawd what is this gunk? OH GAWD! There's some on my clothes!" Cat screamed in horror.

"Lister – Isn't that the remains of that novelty Banana that hung near you're bunk?"

"Yeah – I wonder what happened to it."

"Looks like you filled it with curry and played Piñata." Rimmer speculated lazily. In response Lister dipped his finger into the gunk and tasted it.

"Like no curry I've ever had before." Lister replied.

"What do you know? You only have one taste bud left!" Rimmer scoffed as Cat ran out of the room in the direction of the Laundry.

"And? Oh it'll be fine with some poppadoms and a can or 3."


End file.
